Grief and Hope at Christmas

And rum cake. And some good books.

Grief

I celebrate Christmas and, along with my very large extended family, I do most of that on Christmas Eve. So tonight. This year Christmas Eve will be partly about the family’s grief over the death of our younger brother, John, a month ago. Although he won’t be there, right now I’m making his favorite—rum cake—because it would be strange not to. Last year, when I brought the cake to my sister’s house, my brother wasn’t there. He and his new wife had gotten into an argument (just as they had done on Thanksgiving 2022 and as they continued to do throughout their brief marriage, in the periods when she wasn’t living elsewhere). The argument kept him away on Christmas for the first time that I could remember. 

Rum Cake

Perhaps he called, or it could have been that someone at the party called him, but he was on the phone when the crowd (50 people?) was sampling a variety of desserts. 

“I’m eating rum cake!” I told him.

“That’s mine!” he said.

“It is yours—I made it for you, and I’m sorry you’re not here to have it.”

My rum cake with chocolate drizzle and candied pecans.

Late last August, John was in bad shape. My husband and I made many meals for him and his wife, who was recovering from a foot infection, and went to see them. But on our way, John called me and told me to turn around and go home because his wife had left permanently (this turned out not to be true any more than any of the other times she left). I told him we were coming anyway because we had all this good food. Cheesy, meaty pasta dishes, a variety of wonderful Mexican food that my (Mexican American) husband is an expert at making. And a rum cake.

When we arrived, John wasn’t eating much of anything. “I made you a rum cake!” I said. He laughed the only laugh I would hear that visit. And the three of us sat down and cut that cake right then. That was the last time I saw him.

This is what I’m thinking about as the cake bakes. But, after a very difficult year, I hope seeing the excitement of the children tonight will remind me of the hopes and aspirations of the next generation—and the next—and brighten my spirits.

Solace in Nature

The photo above is a  large poinsettia blooming in my yard. I wonder if the people who lived here previously planted it from a small Christmas houseplant. While poinsettias are native to Mexico, they can do well in Southern California (note the blooming yuccas behind it). It’s nice to have such a deep red hue to look at each day coming and going from dog walks. I continue to recognize these simple pleasures. 

Hope and Happy Holiday Thoughts

I recently read a newsletter post from Kristen Lamb “Writing Lessons from ‘A Christmas Carol.’” It looks at the Dickens story in its Christian context (i.e., people are redeemable). Three years ago, Audible gave away the audiobook narrated by Hugh Grant. I like to listen to it each year. Hearing it reminds me of my favorite line. After Scrooge tells the ghost of Jacob Marley he had been a great businessman in life, Jacob responds, “Mankind was my business!” And doesn't that pretty much sum up life?  

This New Yorker cartoon reminds me that several years ago (nine?), I wanted to use two NYer cartoons in a presentation I was giving to the school board about library services. I sought permission to use them, couldn’t get anywhere with the NYer, so I tried contacting the parent company, Condé Nast. They never responded. Whoever saw that email probably thought, I don’t have time for this nonsense! We don’t care if you show our cartoons to your school board! Now the cartoon of the day is freely shared on social media platforms, with the expectation of its being shared by viewers. This was the featured cartoon a few days ago. Another succinct lesson on how to conduct a life. 

In my usual convoluted way, I saw on a Substack ‘best of’ list that

George Saunders

enjoyed

Hattie Crisell

’s (In Writing with Hattie Crisell) “What's the point of a bad review?” I loved this reminder that not all books are for all people. And they should only be reviewed with their intended audience in mind. I wrote about that in “What’s the Purpose of a Book Review” in 2021. One of my helpful hints for reviewers: Did the book meet its purpose? If it's written for a high school student who is learning to read in English, so at the 2-5 grade level, but is about a topic that a high school kid loves—5 stars. Reviewing with this in mind can bring authors and readers both a lot of joy.

Libraries and Book Banning

Yes, there was news this week that a police officer was called to remove a book from a middle school classroom. That’s some scary shit. But there’s also some good news on the book banning front and the holidays are a perfect time to celebrate it.  

While the title of this New York Times article indicates the content will be about the sex scandal of a prominent ‘Mom for Liberty’ (and her husband, accused of rape), it actually details the fading influence of book banners. 

Here’s a lovely short interview an Iowa high school journalist (Tai Caputo) had with Jane Smiley that I found on Lit Hub. I love what Smiley begins with because it is what high school librarians live their lives saying and fighting for, every day:

I think that if a mother or a father doesn’t want their child to read a particular book, it’s up to the mother or father to say, ‘No, honey, you can’t read this right now, maybe later.’ It’s not up to the state to decide who gets to read what.

What I’m Reading

Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano. I often read books from small presses so I can share in emerging authors’ journeys, but I’m reading this big press novel because it’s so popular. It’s charming and heartrending/heartwarming. But I don’t usually read charming books. This one delivers a lot of action and emotionality that doesn’t make sense to me because little of it seems to be predicated on the characters’ interiority, past actions, etc. I’d have liked to see the causes developed before being presented with the effects. But it’s an Oprah Book Club choice, so clearly, it’s much loved. I haven’t given up (yet).

I finished Orange World and Other Stories by Karen Russell, which has some pretty great stuff. If you like surreal moments and aren’t reading Russell’s works, it’s past time to start.

The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder by David Grann. So relentlessly hopeless and dark, but oh man, so good. A nightmare ocean voyage in the 1740s.

One Story issue #307. The short story “The Arrow” by Gina Chung. Good stuff—a touching and surprising mother-daughter story in second person. (If you are trying to write a story in second person, it’s worth your while to read this as an example.) I generally (not always—there are some clunkers) enjoy issues of One Story and have given subscriptions as gifts.